++ [functions are expensive](https://web.archive.org/web/20170704181231/http://www.phpwtf.org/php-function-calls-have-quite-some-overhead "yes, this is ancient, I know")
++ when calling a function the extra arguments are just ignored and missing arguments are just _NULL_ except with builtin functions where extra arguments raise an error.
++ OOP IS NONSENSICAL (yes, I know I promised no slander but we all saw it coming)